God, where are you? I know you are there, I hear you knocking and quietly easing my burden and heartache… I do not see you. I am fragile and sensitive. However, you know this. You know I need you to move into the driver seat and take over.

Motions are present and actions are small but alive. It is a quiet pulse in the background that gently reminds me of your strength. The strength that appears just in time to dry the tears and encourage my belief into one more step.

Does it make a difference? In the end, will it matter? What do I have that I can give you today except for what is so precious it hurts me to truly turn it over to you? I am afraid of the answers when I search deep.

Confusion…Anxiety…separation, they are sad and harsh.