I am two weeks away from graduating... Its about time! All these years of school at night can be draining...

I don't know if the excitement has hit yet.. I guess because I am writing so many papers to graduate :)

cute joke

What is the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time." A southern fairy tale begins with, "You wont believe this sh*t."

All's well that ends well....right?.....well sorta.

My sissy and I went to dinner a few nights ago for her bday. We started talking about the "good ole days" You know what that is right? Its what we define as anything prior to your current situation because we are so damned stressed about our current situation it cannot possibly be even remotely considered good...

So back to the good ole days. The good ole days we were referring to at this point in our life were when we were about 15, 16. Back then, (you know the good ole days) we didn't consider it good but now we love to look back on that time and laugh about our situations. We were so funny at that age. But, we were free, loving and gave a lot of ourselves to everyone around us. We had not been through enough hurt in our life at that point to be close minded. We believed... And belief felt good.

So conversation continues and the song comes up that we always used to think of old friends, family members, boyfriends. What might have been? Good question. What might have been?
Can I consider an answer to this? If I could live two lives and compare the two at the end of my existence, would I? What about a price tag to this option, not sure if its worth a price, but if it was free at no cost to me at all, would I do it?

It would be very tempting...

But would it create a comparison that should never be considered? One person's life better than another? Does fate happen or do instances and experience's create our future opportunities?

Religion would argue that we are what God wants us to be so therefore there could not be a difference in two separate lives. I don't know if I agree with that entirely. Do we always end back at square one? Do we find a new path? Yes I think we do. Interesting... If I believe that theory, then what might have been can never be officially answered... We will never know.. Will we?

Is it okay to compare your significant other to previous significant others or others significant others?

I could be normal but then again I could be very crazy by sometimes thinking about this...

are we born good or evil?

Things sometimes change with time and sometimes they don't. Part of the reason I left my initial blog was related to people...

People are still relatively all selfish a**holes. Quote me.. it appears a fact.

"and in the universe even that which is called evil, when it is regulated and put in its own place, only enhances our admiration of the good; for we enjoy and value the good more when we compare it with the evil" - augustine

gambling

I've never really been a big gambler... I've always thought its a waste of money and that my conservative butt should just get out and work hard for my money and then spend it wisely in order to achieve financial freedom or success.

Gambling is risky...you can lose your shirt...And all those movies about the people who win big with gambling and the lottery end up with all these crazy problems later in life that I've never wanted it.... And I don't look like they do ever so there must be a "type" of lotto winner in order to win.

BUT... You can win really big. And it would feel great for just a little while and how else could I feel that kind of financial satisifaction. Don't get me wrong, the job pays the bills, but what if???? What if???? So I really started thinking about the risk and winning big.

So... I go to the local store where you can buy them and of course, it would happen to me, The machine is BROKEN!!

The fleeting opportunity came and left in a blink of an eye. It took me days, weeks, months oh all right - years to get up the courage to buy a ticket and the odds of it being broken at that EXACT moment are like what 1 and 50 gazillion?

I've always believed things happen for a reason so I have no reason to doubt that I would have won the lotto, become a drug addict, wrecked my car, been in and out of rehab, cursed my family and shot my dog, spent all my money because it would have been a big burden, so it's all better for me not to win anyhow.

Pay it forward....

Huge concept. If only everyone would believe and act on this theory. But then, we would all be the same and life wouldn't be as complicated to get through. There is something about the low valleys we go through in life that make the mountains fantastic.

I still like the concept. Maybe I will try it on someday.

Do you ever wonder if dreams are some significant part of our lives that we all overlook? I have always wondered about dreams. Are they really our biggest fears or biggest wish at a certain time in our life?

Are they subconscious thoughts that we have and somehow dreaming them makes them partial reality?

What about the weird dreams that are so bizarre that you really have no explanation at all? I always say, I must have been running a fever or had something really great to eat for dinner when I have those.

But still I wonder....

If anyone feels so strongly to exercise their right for freedom of speech to burn a flag or curse a solider then pack your stuff and get to a country similiar to where the soliders are currently.

The soliders fought for you to say what you say but instead of running your mouth on something stupid that you don't deserve, you need to go sleep in a cot in Iraq in the middle of the summer. Then eat your own words and shut up!

I wish I had more time for myself to do things like write in this blog. I am at least living, so that is a start to why I don't have time.

The kids learned how to ski. They did it better than I did. Of course, they are naturally talented and I am absolutely not talented with extracurricular sports.

I have spring fever....I want a sunny day and a tan.

Life has kept me pretty busy lately. I haven't been able to post but have thought so many times about what I really want to write about.

I had a longer blog but it was discovered so I had to change everything around and sometimes I feel that I can't really write for fear of discovery again.

I miss my friends and the comfort zone I had with myself last year at this time. Where did it all go within a year?

I don't have a new years resolution. I am still trying to determine if I am on the right path first.

Curious Thoughts!